Hello everybody. Today we are going to investigate masks. Not halloween masks (halloween was cancelled), but the horrible stuffy ones you now have to wear in shops and at school.
There is a problem.
You can escape shops (if there is a parent handy), but not school. School is as unescapable as a thousand-meter-deep pit filled with small vicious carrot creatures that want to kill you.
So, you see. Problem.
I would not mind school if it was not for the masks.
Wait, no. That was a lie. I would not mind school as much if it was not for the masks. I will explain why:
Everyday, before school, there is a metaphorical checklist in my head. Geography book? Check. Water bottle? Check. Ability to block out the cackles of infuriating class mates and concentrate on the work? I wish.
And finally, mask. check.
If you do not bring a mask, if you are doomed enough to have a terrible memory, then there are Consequences. Detention-related Consequences. Which are best avoided.
But if you do remember your mask, I can’t promise your day will be much better. From the ground floor up to my classroom there are three flights of stairs. That is bad enough. It was bad enough without the masks. And the suffocation.
But on the dreaded Tuesday afternoons that we have Art, we are all practically dead by the time we get to the fourth floor.
Perhaps that’s why I’m not so good at painting.