Primary school is very different to secondary school. And no, I am not talking about the fact that you can have a banana at lunch in secondary school. Though that is one thing that is different. I love bananas.
There are plenty of things that are different. Good and bad. Ok, mostly bad. But because there are so many things to talk about, I’ll write this post in two parts. This is Part 1…
- First of all, assemblies. At primary school, we had an assembly every day. Every single day. It was the worst part of my day. In the morning, we would tramp downstairs in a long crocodile. A very long crocodile. Really, I have no idea why it’s called a crocodile. I mean, yes, it’s a metaphor, but frankly not a very good one. Even the longest crocodiles are only about as long as the room I am writing this in. Which, by the way, is not a gigantic banquet hall furnished which carved wooden chairs and decorated with woven tapestries. No. Sadly, it is the kitchen, furnished with a fridge containing lots of hummus and ordinary kitchen chairs. Anyway. How did I even get started on banquet halls? Hmm. I need to stop doing that, or my posts will be longer than a crocodile. Ah! There I go again! So, we get to the assembly hall, and sit down. Nope, not on chairs. On the floor. By the end of the assembly we’ve got pins and needles and our backs are aching. Also, I am sincerely starting to doubt that my primary-school teachers had any imagination at all. Every assembly seemed to be the same. Be kind. Never give up. Don’t lie. Work hard. Be grateful. Yes, these are obviously very good lessons. But not when you have to hear them taught to you every day for seven years. And the video – the video that was played in so many assemblies we knew it off by heart. It was a cartoon video about ‘colouring the world with kindness’, and in it there is a boy and a girl and the girl doesn’t have an apple but the boy has an apple and he gives her the apple and for some reason this makes her turn all colourful and then she is nice to this man who drops his wallet and that makes him multi-coloured too and it goes on and on. I’m sure the teachers probably just googled ‘good assembly videos’ and played the first one that came up. So secondary school wins that one!
- Secondly, the lunch queue. If you read my posts in order and have read The Queue Of Infinity, then you will know that the queue at my secondary school is actually physically torture. The only other experience worse is probably a rugby lesson. But really, both are horrific. How convenient. The queue at primary school, though, was so quick you hardly knew you were in the queue in the first place! (Ok, you did notice, but it sounds good.) I remember when it was your class’s turn to go in for lunch, a teacher would hold up a sign with the name of your class on, and then, then, then it got more exciting. Then a herd of children would come sprinting up behind you, desperate to get to the queue first. The dust and gravel on the floor of the playground would fly into the air like a cloud, and as quick as you can say idon’tlikemondays, there would two queues against the wall, one for girls, the other boys. Sometimes people would lurk near the wall for the teacher to hold up the sign, and then slip to the front of the queue. But I think we were over-reacting. Really, the queue in primary school was barely five metres long. One all!
- Next, the obvious one. Homework. It is obvious that primary wins this point – we may have got homework in primary school, but only one piece a week, and it was hardly any at all. Secondary school homework piles up higher and higher every day until the mountain of it reaches so far up you can’t see over the top.